At the beginning of 2021, I started writing the column, Al No Artista, with the intention of motivating and sharing what little I know about art and the world of artists. The title was born after having heard countless students, who seemed to have the same script, tell me, "I'm not an artist."
I empathize with that feeling, I remember that a while ago, it bothered me when people referred to me as an artist because I didn’t feel like one. Especially since I hadn't created anything at all in years. The label, artist, was like a jacket five sizes too large with sleeves too long for my arms. Regardless of how much I adjusted it, I still felt like an impostor, a girl playing dress-up.
During that time I thought that what I needed was a college degree that said I had a Bachelors in Fine Arts. I thought that the confidence in myself and in my creations would be absolute, after all, I would have a diploma that verified that I had met the requirements. But it was not like that. The insecurity of being an artist and exhibiting my art intensified. I still wanted to be a part of that world but I went into paralysis so I chose to be an art teacher. I was like a sad puppy looking out the window as others went out and faced the world. There is a saying that goes, "Those who can, do; those who can’t, teach."
This saying is not without fault, I don’t think that those who teach don’t have mastery over their craft, but I do believe that there are too many of us who take refuge in a title that does not fit us, such as teacher, for fear of not exposing ourselves to who we really want to be.
On many occasions, I have asked myself who cares? Could it be that it only affects me? This train of doubt results in demotivation and in the end I do nothing. The real answer is, nobody cares. You can spend a lifetime doing nothing, leaving your ideas in a corner collecting dust and nobody will care. They will continue to live their lives and you will continue to live yours. And at the same time, this is an oxymoron because everyone will care.
Think of all the movies you have seen, all the books you have read, and all the music you have listened to and ask yourself, how have they shaped the person I am? Think about the people who inspire you and the people who came before them, the heroes of your heroes. What if they decided not to tell their story, carry out their ideas, share their triumphs or defeats? Life in general would be very different.
The phrase, "misery loves company," is typically interpreted as something negative. However, for me, that is the reason why what we do matters so much. The way you tell your story and express your ideas is the cornerstone of culture and no one will do it the way you can. Misery likes to be accompanied because we like to know that someone understands our pain and walks with us or that they have paved the road.
For those who read my column, you already know of my infatuation with Frida Kahlo; whose paintings were her shared misery, which led her to become a Latin American icon. Everything is a method of telling a story whether through a brush or not. I have seen contemporary dances that have moved me to tears, I have listened to musical pieces that give me a frisson of delight. I have felt the pain of strangers empathizing with their stories. When I imagine that everything that has had an influence on me no longer exists, it feels like a complete loss. I realize that is why it matters. Because even though not everything you do will be important and maybe no one will care what you are doing, they will certainly care that you did it.
The new year is coming up and most of us feel a great need to be better than we were last year. I started the year as an art educator and ended up being an artist. I still feel like a girl in costume in particular when people ask me what to do. I feel like I have to justify my work as if creating art is not enough. I write this column not only to convince you of the importance of art but selfishly, also to remember it myself. The road will rarely be easy when you decide to take a chance. Go ahead anyway. Surround yourself with people who share your suffering not to victimize you, but to encourage you to create, they will be the ones who are willing to walk by your side. Either way, be prepared in case you have to walk alone.